A quick Google search for dating advice will deliver an avalanche of rules on how to date: Never be the one to text first after the first date. Put this in your online profile to get more people swiping right. Don’t sleep with the guy until the third date.
The process of meeting a man and developing a relationship is presented as a game dos and don’ts, of definitive right ways and wrong ways to meet someone.
The majority of dating content out there supports this method, filled with tips, tricks and hacks to “master” the male mind and get the relationship you want. It’s presented finding a relationship as a step-by-step process, one which can be easily crossed off one’s to do list.
At the same time women are being advised to “not be too picky,” “treat dating like a job,” “just be patient and grateful for the life they currently have,”and so on.
No one’s talking about the hard but inevitable challenges that are inherent to building intimacy and connection in any relationship.
Dating isn’t hard because men are inherently assholes. Dating isn’t hard because the apps are bullshit. Dating isn’t hard because men don’t want to settle down. Dating is hard because it’s an emotionally complicated endeavor, the ultimate goal of which is no small feat: A deep and meaningful connection with a person you respect, admire, and love, and the desire to build something great together. It takes grit, courage, humility, forgiveness, vulnerability and endless self-compassion.
No tip, trick or rule will trump that reality.
I’m proposing a dating approach which boldly embraces that truth. That doesn’t falsely boil down dating to a series of steps but instead acknowledges and tackles the emotional difficulty of it. Through deep conversation, introspective exercises and concrete practices, I empower women to approach dating from a place of self knowledge and emotional awareness, ultimately moving them closer to the partnership they so deeply desire.
If you’re interested in working together, contact me here to set up a complimentary intro session to learn more about how sessions and fees work.